Ladies, how many of you have the phrase “Live, Laugh, Love” somewhere in your online dating profile? You can raise your hand, it’s OK! We’re all guilty of using a cliche here and there, but some profiles take it to the next level. And if yours is littered with them, many guys won’t know what to message you about. These overused phrases don’t give anyone the ability to start a conversation with you.
As traditional “hunters,” men are primed to initiate conversation with a woman — both online and off. But how are we supposed to initiate an exchange if we only have clichés to go on?
Here are some examples of how clichés on women’s profiles can often yield uninspiring opening statements from men, which consequently fail to grab their attention.
Gal’s cliche profile: “I like long walks on the beach.”
Guy’s message: “We should go for a walk down the Cape sometime.”
Your solution: “I like walking on the beach and feeding the seagulls, I went down the Cape Cod National seashore often when I was younger with my family. I’m addicted to crab cakes from the Beachcomber — I always go when I’m in Wellfleet.”
This description gives guys the ability to start a conversation about his favorite area beach or his go-to place to eat down the cape. Details matter!
Gal’s cliche profile: “Most Fridays I like to snuggle up on the couch with a glass of wine under a blanket and watch movies.”
Guy’s message: “On Thursdays I like to sit on my lazy boy chair, crushing Bud Lights while I watch the Bruins game and dream about how I can improve my fantasy football team. We should watch TV together sometime, it’d be fun.”
Your solution: “Most Fridays I like to relax from a long week from work, either watching movies from Netflix or catching up with my shows on my DVR (I’m a sucker for Shark Tank!). On Saturdays I often meet friends for drinks somewhere around Faneuil Hall — I love that part of the city.”
There are many elements someone can message about, from what’s on his DVR to favorite shows, or comparing your ideal social scenes around town. Easy!
Gal’s cliche profile: “My Family and friends are important to me, I wouldn’t trade them in for the world.”
Guy’s message: “My family is really important to me, too. I can’t wait until you meet my mom — she’d love you!”
Your solution: “I have a close knit family and we try to get together at least once a week for dinner — my mom makes the best lasagna! Yearly vacations often bring us to Florida for a week. But when I’m home, my girlfriends and I have margarita nights on Saturdays … which are often loud affairs! Good thing we don’t mind the noise.”
Guys can get a better feel of what kind of person you are by reading what you do with those you’re closest to. Most people want someone who can not only mesh with you, but are able to hang with your family and friends, too — who will inevitably join your duo. The Spice Girls sang it best: If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends… They were onto something!
Forming strong relationships is all about building rapport by sharing intriguing details and fun tidbits about your life. Cliché’s are a turnoff … and a dead end to starting a conversation. If you’re specific about your interests, guys can be more explicit in initial messages, which will ultimately keep them from throwing dreaded clichés (or creepy responses) back in your inbox.